Love is a Feeling, Not a Decision

I hope I got your attention with that title ;) now stay with me for a little bit…


This week, I walked into my school, pretty tired and ready for some coffee. As I walked through the door, one of the facilitators of the school prepped me, “They are going to ask you if love is a choice or a feeling”. After grabbing my coffee, sure enough, as I sat down to join the teachers, a mix of the majority and believers, I was asked the infamous question. When I asked who had said what, I was shocked to find out that all the believers said that love was a choice, whereas all those in the majority said that love was a feeling. My teacher (a believer) and I sat down and thought through why this was the case. It was then that we realized, the most probable reason was they do not have an example of perfect love.


The majority believe that God placed someone who looked like Jesus on the cross to die, not Jesus Himself, tricking the people into believing Jesus had died. This is a heartbreaking reality. Not only is the perfect example of perfect love distorted, it is replaced by a misleading action from what could be considered a dishonest god. I think as believers, sometimes we take for granted how blessed we are to have Christ as an example in our lives. The Bible clearly says there is no greater love than dying for a friend (John15:13), and that is exactly what Christ did for us.


The common question of “If God is God, then why could He not find a different way to save humanity than by Jesus dying?”, never had a more clear answer than after this conversation. Not only did Jesus choose to suffer with man, He also chose to show man what true love is. Without Christ dying, we all may believe that love is a mere fleeting feeling that subsides with time. Yet with Christ dying, crying out to the Father to forgive man, we are able to see and know what it means to not only truly love others but to be truly loved ourselves. Because we are so perfectly and intimately loved by God, we are, in return, able to share that love with those around us, imperfect as it may be. If no one around you believes that love is a choice, how profound must it be when Believers chose to love another despite any action that might be done against them.


My heart breaks for these selfless people, who are always pouring out themselves for the sake of others. Hoping their actions will be enough to get into heaven and earn the approval of those around them, so many people here are distraught and hopeless, finding their actions being met with temporary satisfaction. I pray one day my friends will realize their heart is all God has ever wanted from them. That Jesus died for them because He is enough and wanted to demonstrate His love and how far He was willing to go to express His immeasurable love to His children.


“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. 17 These things I command you, so that you will love one another.” – John 15:12-17