There are many unexpected challenges living here, and I find myself falling into sinful entitlement almost daily. I figured that while overseas I would feel the Lord’s presence constantly and more tangibly because of increased dependence on Him (after all, I came here for Him, right? Letting me know He is walking with me is the least He could do!) One day I was feeling especially low and subconsciously thought God was letting me down because I could not feel His presence in the daily struggles. The song “More Than Anything” by Corey Voss & Madison Street Worship started playing on my phone and the Holy Spirit touched my heart in His loving, convicting way:
“God You don’t owe me anything
Still You give me everything
I want You more than anything
You are the Lover of my soul”
It is easy to think I have sacrificed so much for the Lord coming here--but He doesn’t owe me anything. How could He owe me anything? He has already given me everything. And anything I might try to see as “sacrifices” are “sacrifices with shouts of joy” (Psalm 27). Whatever I lay down for Him draws me closer to Him, so how could I feel like I am giving up anything when I get to know my Savior more? As John Piper says in his book Desiring God, “Jesus Himself makes up for every sacrifice”.
Living here is an opportunity to re-learn the Gospel in a new way--both through the highs and the lows. “Anything I once had I count as loss for the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus Christ, my Lord.” This ultimately is what I want to see done here, for people to know the surpassing worth of know Jesus Christ! Praise God He is faithfully teaching me this Good News over and over and over again.
I pray the same for you.