Moms – I can always count on mine for an inspirational email every few days. Usually in the form of one of the many blogs she follows. Today she shared one that was different than most, one that really touched on some of the topics I have been feeling.
I am currently 49 days away from launching into a new journey to Mexico City for the next two years. While this is incredibly exciting news, it has not come easy and without hesitation at times. The story my mom shared with me today was one of self-consciousness, doubt and remorse. The blogger was discussing how she let a friend down years ago and how this burden was currently weighing on her confidence as she goes to obey the Lord in her ministry. What struck me most was the scripture she used to reference. In John 12:3 we see Mary taking pure nard and an expensive perfume to pour over Jesus’ feet. She then uses her own hair to wipe and clean them off. While this may seem like the typical lesson in service and humility, what is most striking in the scripture is that it was done by Mary. The cultural norms at the time did not allow women to learn directly from teachers or people of power. Despite this outdated cultural norm, Mary knew what she was called to do- to obey the word of God and love the Lord with all her heart. While we may not have this exact cultural obstacle to overcome today we do face other challenges.
What will you do when you get back? You’re quitting your job to move to Mexico? Don’t you think you are putting your life on pause? How will you pay your bills? Don’t you want to get married? Bills, debt, competition, unworthiness, fear, doubt, anxiety… I could go on about the questions I have heard, the excuses that have crossed my mind and doubt I have faced over the past few months. However, the one word that brings me back to a place of confidence is obedience. There is a song that I have been JAMMING lately by Matthew West called Broken Things. The main verse goes like this, “Now I’m just a beggar in the presence of a King I wish I could bring so much more. But if it’s true, you use broken things. Then here I am Lord, I’m all yours”. I’ve consistently battled the fleeting thoughts of doubt and unworthiness by going back to the call of obedience as well as spending time with God in the word. The more I talk with my family and friends about this big move the more confident and excited I become for the next chapter of my life to begin. I certainly do not view this as a detour, or a “pause button” but instead see this as a meaningful step toward the life God has intended for me. I could have chosen to let the doubts or excuses win out but I instead choose to remind myself that He is worthy of obedience.
In my very first blog “A Journey of Obedience” I wrote about how exactly I became involved with Go Corps and the opportunities that led me to where I am at today. If you have been looking for ways to further make Christ the boss of your life I encourage you to read that blog or contact me directly. He has asked for our obedience and is undeniably worthy of that request! Go Corps has been such an amazing organization helping me and connecting me every step of the way. There 2018 applications are open, check them out. Who knows where you may end up?