So a while ago (like near the beginning of May) I had written a list of things to follow. This was a list of items that I wanted to achieve on a regular basis, such things as jog at least twice a week, have a daily devotional, make my bed every morning, and so on. I had a list of 13 rules I wanted to follow (with grace). Though, after a while, I realized the list wasn't helping me much. I wasn't really following them that well and it became more of a reminder of who I wished I was and how much I was failing at making myself a "better person". While the list did have mostly good disciplines for me to achieve it wasn't reminding me why I wanted to do those things. It wasn't helping me achieve those goals in the right way. Instead of motivating me it became something I ignored because I didn't want to be reminded of areas I was lacking in.
Recently I wrote a list of reminders. Truths that I want to constantly keep on the forefront of my mind, with the most important one (at this time) being "to be aware of the reasons why I am doing something". Lately, it feels like I am making all these goals I want to achieve and while they appear to be of good intentions I have not thought through all the reasons why I want to achieve those goals. Is it to draw closer to God or is to look like I am closer to God? Since I was young I would struggle with believing I was an adequate Christian because I wasn't spending as much time in the Word, I wasn't praying enough, or I wasn't telling enough people about Christ. I had this picture of what an "ideal Christian" was and I wasn't it. I slowly learned it is less about what I do but why I do it. Less about accomplishment and more about relationship. Does this bring me closer to God?
By focusing on the reminders first I am hoping it helps lead me to set better goals and help me achieve those goals by reminding me why I do what I do. Here is my list of reminders:
- to be aware of the reasons why I am doing something
- have my personal time with God
- give yourself grace, while striving to be disciplined
- that God loves me no matter what I do and gives me grace
- to prove I am worthy is never to be a reason for doing anything
- do out of joy and love for Christ, not obligation
- I don't need to be like anyone but who God made me to be
- find the ways God is revealing Himself to me
- strive to be honest, real and intentional in all I do
- I am a child of God and God gives me value
- God has already defeated the enemy