Wow, I have been in this country for a year already! I cannot wrap my brain around all that God has done in my life this past year. Coming to a country I barely knew anything about, where people speak a language that I still struggle to understand and learn, where I had to relearn how to do the simplest of things, from a country I grew comfortable in really opened my eyes to my lack of dependence on God. I have been stretched in so many ways and am learning to refocus and recenter my life on Christ.
I have learned the importance of a good community and team. To have people that you can trust and be open with. Because danger lies in isolation. While times of solitude are good (as an introvert I love my personal time) God does call us to be part of the church. To be able to encourage and support one another. We need those who can keep us accountable because sometimes we can be blind to our own wrongdoings. Being reminded that we are not alone in our struggles and God provides us the people we need to help us grow and to move us along the path He has planned for us (and not always in the way we expect).
I was told before I came that struggles I have before coming onto the field may be way worse once I was on the field and I can now testify to that fact. There were personal situations that I believed I had learned to manage better and I thought I had under control. But nope! When I got here, about six months in it hit me pretty hard. I had to relearn to how to deal with my personal struggles in this new environment and fortunately I have amazing team members who have helped me along the way and of course a God who will never stop loving me.
Finding my identity in Christ is another area I have been growing in since being here. It is very easy to play the comparison game or get caught up in how much work I am doing, and being discouraged if the outcomes of events are not turning out the way I expected. It easy to get caught up in what I am doing rather why I am doing it. I am remembering God loves me despite what I do. I do not need to earn God's love and grace. I do not need to prove I am worthy. I simply need to accept what God has given me. Surrender myself completely to Him. Knowing it is not about what I do but what God does through me. My value lies not within in world but within Christ who by His blood shed has rescued me from the depths of sin and brought me into newness with Him so that I may eternally be a child of God.