Prayer. It is amazing how it works. What is even more amazing is how my prayers do not work in the way I anticipate them to. Bummer right? Because clearly, I know best. Except I don’t, which is ultimately a good thing because I have God to lead and mold me through the course of life. If I knew best at the beginning of this summer and I didn’t learn or grow at all before departing overseas, then I would fail miserably.
How do I know this? I asked God to shape and prepare me for this new life changing experience that I get to embark on in the fall. The thing is, being shaped and molded is painful and time consuming. It takes hard work that you don’t expect to encounter. When I asked God to prepare me I didn’t realize that part of preparing me would be humbling beyond belief. I didn’t realize I had such a drive for my own independence that I needed to be humbled to a spot where I couldn’t function without people there to help and serve me.
What do I mean by this? Raising support is humbling in itself. Going to people and saying, “I can’t do this alone and in order for me to follow God’s calling on my life and serve overseas I need you to help send me there,” is an incredibly humbling process. But this wasn’t enough for me. I also needed hip surgery which has left me completely immobile and dependent on my parents and friends to function throughout the day. In a sense, I have been knocked from my “high horse,” and been placed in a position completely venerable for God to come and work in me. I wouldn’t call this fun, but I can say I am excited to look back on this experience and recognize the artistry God created in prepping me to be his hands and feet in Central Asia. So until then I will be relinquishing my prized independence little by little, and let God and his people work in my life.