I love birthdays. Not just my birthday, but anyone’s. As some of you know, I’m even a big fan of taking a birthday month. Why should the celebrating be confined to just one day? I guess I love them because it’s a day to celebrate the life of that one person, specifically. It’s their day to be celebrated and honored. This past weekend my views of celebrating birthdays with the girls in the refuge has greatly changed, and I think for the better.
This past weekend we had a birthday party for one of the girls. We celebrated her quince (big 15th birthday party) even though she was turning 16. The party was so fun. She looked beautiful in her dress, we danced a lot, ate yummy food. At the end, it looked like she had had a great time, everyone did. One really special part was when all of the staff of the refuge took turns dancing with her. She was smiling from ear to ear the whole party. It’s always such a blessing to see them celebrated.
After all the guests had left, the party had been cleaned up, and everyone was changed back into their regular clothes, I sat down and talked with three of the girls, one being the birthday girl. Two of them were sharing with the other girl their difficult, scary experiences in dealing drugs and running with gangs. Now, normally the girls aren’t supposed to talk about their pasts with each other. It just allows them to live in the bad, scary memories, to re-traumatize themselves, or can become even a means of competition and comparison between them. I don’t know why, but I felt in my bones that this conversation needed to happen (and I felt I had the ability to wrap it up in a safe and effective way if need be). Another reason is that these girls were talking about how bad it was, how scared they were, not how fun or cool it is. And I believe sharing these kinds of stories (in the right context) can be healing thing for them. I don’t feel comfortable necessarily sharing what these girls shared with me, out of respect for them and their process, so I won’t share details here. All I can say is that even knowing the population I am working with, knowing the basics of where these girls have been didn’t prepare me for the impact of their stories. Needless to say, both of them were thanking God for their lives, His protection, though still concerned for themselves and their families. At the end, I thanked the girls for letting me be a part of their conversation; I told them I felt like I understood who they are better now. I asked if I could pray for them. They graciously agreed. I simply thanked God for their lives. I gave thanks to God that each one of them was brought to our refuge. I thanked God that His plans are so much bigger and better than any plans we have. We prayed protection over them and their families.
As I sit back reflecting on these moments, I realize that celebrating these girls on their birthdays is more than just celebrating that they were born and brought into the world. But that they are still here. It’s a stark truth, a harsh one. With all that they’ve been through, that is no luck or coincidence, but the hands of my God working in the lives of his precious daughters, offering safety, hope, redemption. I’m overwhelmed with a new found appreciation and thankfulness to God as their Savior, good Father, and Protector. May each of their lives be in his hands forever. I will never take another one of their birthdays for granted again.