Hi everyone! So I have now spent two Saturdays working at the refuge and thought I'd take some time to write about what I've learned/experienced so far and how I've been feeling about it.
I think the most surprising thing so far is that the girls don't seem any different than other teenage girls you might meet. I had to remind myself after the first time meeting them and talking with them that they have been through some seriously traumatic stuff that I can only begin to imagine. We talked about music, dancing, brothers and sisters, what T.V shows they were watching. And then I was brought back to reality when one girl mentioned a friend of hers, 14 years old and pregnant. After our reactions of concern and a bit of sadness, the other girl she was speaking to proceeded to tell me that she had also gotten pregnant at 14 and her sweet baby is now three. She was, from what I could tell, both so happy and proud to be a mom, no matter the circumstances. It was then that I realized just how much these girls have been through, and I haven't even heard most of their stories. I am so excited about getting to know the girls better and pray every day that they would feel more and more comfortable sharing with me as time goes on.
Every time I tell people about what I do I have to switch my wording from "Mujeres que estuvieron de trata" to "Chicas que estuvieron de trata". The difference being that the first means women who were trafficked and the second, chicas, means girls. The youngest girl there now I think is 14 and they range in age all the way to 18. My biggest worry at that age was whether or not I got my homework done...
The Wednesday I went to just visit El Pozo de Vida (the well of life) and met with Paulina, who helps run the refuge, I was immediately impressed with how well run it is. They have a set schedule for every day of the week with set times for the girls to do certain things, like schoolwork and cleaning. They have cleaning schedules, cooking schedules, and even one of the girls assigned for each day to monitor hand washing before meals and brushing teeth after. They take certain measures to ensure the fair treatment of each girl and also their safety. Apparently many of the girls would cut themselves, so they only get their razors and other potentially harmful things like nail polish remover on certain days at certain times. There is also a psychologist that comes once a week and sees all the girls and the psychiatrist that comes every three months to meet with them and give any medication they may need. It has been interesting to observe the inner workings of this safe house even in just the first few weeks.
So some of you are probably wondering what I actually do at the refuge. The girls did too, especially after I explained to them that I studied psychology. So they call the women who hang out with the girls daily and keep them on task and help with school work and whatnot "formadoras" which means instructor/coach. Right now my role is to help those people out and basically just be an extra support to them, and the girls. Since the girls can't leave, it's part of our job to bring different information and workshops to them so they can learn and do different things and not be bored during their free time. Really, on Saturdays they spend a lot of time listening to music, dancing, and watching T.V. Right now I'm only going in on Saturday, but come November, I'll be going in at least another day a week if not more and my time spent working at the refuge will just increase the longer I'm here. I see it as a real blessing to be able to ease into spending time there.
Ok now you’re wondering what I do the rest of the week if I'm "only working" one day a week. Well, I have meetings with the rest of the group from United World Missions, we have a bible study on Thursdays, and I have Spanish classes twice a week. I'm also spending one afternoon a week volunteering at an English club at the local university (yes I've already been told my pronunciation of the word steel was beautiful).
Anyway, overall I feel really good and excited about my start at El Pozo. When I interned at the inpatient center for teenage boys with drug addictions, I felt for a long time that I was just intruding in on their space. It was where they lived, slept, did school work, had therapy sessions and I just felt like an outsider. I was half expecting to feel the same way my first day at El Pozo, but that wasn't the case at all. I tried my best the jump into conversations with them and get to know the girls and I know it will pay off. It also hit me after my first meeting there, speaking with Paulina and the girls, that I get to minister and work in Spanish. I mean that was kind of the major draw of coming to Mexico in the first place, but It is such an amazing thing, especially since much of my work is what I love most about knowing a second language, getting to build relationships in Spanish. I'm reminded every day what an answer to prayer this opportunity is and I'll try to never forget that when it gets hard.
Another common question is if the girls want to be there or are happy to be there. A lot of times, a sector of the government will hear about girls being trafficked, go and get them out if it, and then bring them to our refuge, El Pozo de Vida. Another common thing it that they will consider the men trafficking them their boyfriend or being brought to the refuge means that they are taken away from family. So no, not every girl is happy to be there, especially at first. They think their boyfriend was the best thing to ever happen to them and that he was taking care of them. They’ve been uprooted from their lives and relationships, no matter how dysfunctional they may have been, and I can respect that it may be hard t accept anything else as your new normal.
Which brings me to another point of why I feel El Pozo is so well run, each girl passes through a set of I think 7 or 8 steps until they are cleared to transition. The first involves them getting acclimated to their new life away from the sex trade and in the safe home. At this point a lot of them are pretty hostile and unhappy. Then they get more and more involved in the refuge and get more recovered from their past trauma. Eventually they can start to leave for small things like going to the store down the street at designated times and going to church with the group. After about a year and a half, they start to reach a point where they are getting close to transitioning out of the safe home into the transition home, their own apartment, or back with their family, depending. It’s interesting to see where all the girls fall on this line.
Again, I am so blessed to get to spend part of my week at this refuge and can’t wait to see how God opens doors with the girls there. I want to eventually start doing a bible study and maybe even a pilates or yoga class with them sometime. Still can hardly believe I’ve almost been here for a month!
P.S The picture for this blog is of an amazing castle-like building I walk past on my way to the refuge. Never cease to be amazed by the beauty of this city.