A month to go. God has really been working on my patience recently. With possible health problems cropping up, visa application problems, and waiting on the last few financial partners signing up, it’s been a stressful month. Sometimes, I met the challenges that were set in front of me with a prayerful attitude and faith and trust in God, and sometimes, I didn’t. Looking back at all of the problems of this month, I see a pattern rise up. In the instances where I was not in control at all and when I had no say in the matter and nothing I could do would change the outcome, I was reliant on God. I didn’t really have a choice. I had to rely on Him, otherwise I would go stir-crazy. But those instances where I had some sort of control (like emailing/calling those partners one more time…) I tended to worry more. I have this thought of “well, if I just did this one thing then maybe…”. All these things are out of my control. All of them. But if I thought I had a chance to change the outcome or do something about it, I would take it. I wanted to be in control. What was I thinking? Looking back, I see that none of those things were ever in my control. But, they are all in God’s hands. I really want to rely on God more and trust in Him. I want to abide in His love. How can I ever forget that God is doing everything that He wants to do. It is so easy for me to forget. His ways are so much more awesome than our own.
“Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble”