My parents left for a 15 day vacation and during that time, I realized how much I was going to miss them. I love my parents. Actually, in high school, I realized I loved them more than God. The last few years have seen me trying to figure out the balance of honoring my parents, but loving God more. I really do believe that God has honored my desire of wanting to love Him fully by taking me on this journey overseas. I have always loved new lands, cultures, languages and have always wanted to live/work overseas, but I never thought that I would be able to do it. I always thought it was an elusive dream. But reading Psalm 37, where it says if I delight myself in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart made me realize that God is doing just that. This has been a desire of my heart, and God is realizing that dream. He is also taking it over in His own way, but I think that is to be expected when Jesus starts changing your heart for Him.
But coming this much closer to my departure date has made it a little more real for me. Do I love God enough and leave my parents? I’m going to miss them so terribly. I love them so much that it not only makes me sad that I will leave them; it also hurts me because I know that they will miss me. I don’t want to cause them sadness or pain, and I am doing just that. My parents and I have come through such a long journey this past year. It has almost been a year now, since I told them I was going to pursue a job in the mission field. They have gone through so many ups and downs, and I am so proud of them and how they have accepted where I am going and what I will be doing. I know it has not been easy for them, and I love them so much that it is hard for me because I know that. My parents are so much a part of my life; it will be so hard leaving them. But every step closer in my training and the days counting down makes me so excited, joyful, and at peace that I know that this is where God wants me, at this time in my life. I don’t know where this path will lead, but I know that God is with me. My parents will always hold a special place in my heart, and I will cherish these last weeks that I have with them. I know that Jesus will comfort us, in exactly each way we specifically need.