God has been very faithful so far. Each week, in order to be fully funded, I must have a certain pledged amount. So far, I have been getting the exact amount I need for each week; it’s definitely been a God thing. Even in the third week, where I was on vacation and had no access to phone or emails and therefore had no appointments, God provided. The day after I arrived home, I received financial support from people that almost made up the week that was lost.
And yet, almost every day I am still plagued by doubts and fears. Even though I see the miracles that God has already done, I still am afraid. In week 4 of fundraising, I have now almost completely exhausted the list of people I do want to talk to and now must go on to the list of people that I don’t. I’m tired and exhausted, but there’s a part of me that is still so excited for what’s to come and how God will manifest Himself.
Those two thoughts war in my mind on a daily basis. I go from crippling fear to amazing joy and faith over the course of a day. How do I look upon all that God has done for me and not believe that He will provide for me? Sometimes I am so amazed at my lack of faith. Why do I fear when I know that God is with me?
I know these answers will not come immediately; it is a walk that God and I will take together for all the years of my life. I must choose each day to follow Him down the path of faith and love. I will remember what He has done, is doing, and will do. I will raise my Ebenezer to Him and remember. God has not made me, or us as his people, with a fearful mind and soul. We have His power through the Holy Spirit, and I shall not be afraid. My God is with me.