Today was one of the more discouraging days of my support raising process. Up until this point, this summer has gone very well for me. There have been a few ups and downs as I have stated before, but for the most part, the process has been fairly smooth with no major setbacks. However, appointments have been in short supply this week, and I have not made very many successful phone calls.
If I am being transparent with you guys, something that I really struggle with is doubt. When things in my life decide to take a turn for the worse, I often question myself and my abilities, and unfortunately, I also often question God. I felt my unwelcomed weakness creeping in today. I kept asking myself so many questions:
"Am I doing the right thing?"
"Am I working hard enough?"
"What if the numbers do not add up this week?"
"Do other people care about what I am doing?"
"Doesn't God know that I have dealines?"
That last one was pretty silly, right? I'm pretty sure the creator of the universe is aware of my deadlines. However, sometimes God has a different plan than the one we have for ourselves. Sometimes I have everything planned out like I did this week, and God decides to do something completely different. Sometime He does this to teach us important lessons.
As I stated at the beginning of this post, I was pretty discouraged earlier today. However, a little while ago, I receieved a message from a friend saying she had connected me with her pastor and her church. I had never asked this friend to do something like this for me, but she went out of her way and contacted him anyway. She also scheduled a meeting with me for herself.
What this friend did for me allowed my love for her to grow even deeper. God showed me today that sometimes the numbers don't add up, but sometimes it isn't about the numbers. Sometimes it is better to have one deep interaction with a person than to have 20 surface-level interactions with 20 different people. Those interactions will come at a later time if they are meant to be.
God has his own ways of showing us how life is supposed to be lived. Today I learned that less is more when it comes to friendship.