I am sitting in complete awe that over a year has passed since I began my journey with GoCorps. I remember around this time two years ago praying if this was the right thing to do. I remember telling everyone I knew that I was going to join, and secretly being terrified that it would never actually happen. I remember the day I got accepted and me and my mom cried because the reality of me leaving for two years was becoming real. I remember the suffocating fear I had leaving training, realizing I had to raise all my support to come. I remember all the sleepless nights and tear filled conversations as I stressed out about having to ask people for money. I remember the moment of pure joy and triumph as I reached my goal and was officially leaving, followed by the sheer panic of buying a one way ticket with no clue of a return date.
In the past year I have learned more about God than probably my whole life. I have learned that even when it doesn’t look like God is anywhere to be found or that he isn’t listening to your prayers, that he is actually has everything in his hands. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called to his purpose”(Romans 8:28) has become so real to me. I have often discovered that in the midst of my stress and anxiety about the future, God has already taken care of everything far better than I could have ever imagined. When I was stressing out about support raising and not having enough I felt like God just wasn’t providing. It made me doubt whether this is what I was supposed to be doing. Once I got to England and saw what life was going to look like, I realized that I had the exact amount of money I needed. Even though on paper I was at 90%, I was actually at 100%.
I have also learned a lot about myself in the last year. I have been through some extreme emotional roller coasters and discovered my own courage and perseverance. I have learned how to adapt in new cultures and learned how to thrive living in community. I have learned how to love deeper and with less expectations, and I have gained a better idea of what sacrifice looks like.
The most important thing I have learned this year is that I can never share the Gospel with anyone who needs it more than I do. I have been incredibly humbled to realize that while I am a vessel to share God’s truth, he still has a lot of work to do in my life. I have been given the grace to remember that God cares about my relationship with him just as much as anyone else’s and that he has so much to offer me in growth.
I guess you could say that I am in a very nostalgic mood as I write this and just cannot express enough how thankful and humbled I have been this past year. For anyone who is reading this and might be interested in joining GoCorps, know that this experience will change in you in incredible ways. Know that God can use all of you, especially your weakness. And know that this will be an incredibly insane and exhausting journey, but also so fruitful and satisfying and exciting. And if you decide to join, I look forward to these moments for you where nostalgia smacks you in the face and lets you rest in all that God has done.
Cheers!