I am in my last few days of support raising and am constantly surprised by the ways God is using this time to break me down and rebuild me even stronger. Each time I really try to reflect on what God has been doing I am blown away by the ways I have grown and the things he is teaching me! The other night, I was lying in bed so frustrated with this whole process, struggling with the fact that I cannot take one more day of support raising; I have been fighting with God for weeks now so confused and exhausted. In the midst of this frustration, very distinct words kept playing in my head. “You’re not enough.”
Now if you know me at all, you know that I’ve always had a heart for those who are told they aren’t enough. Aren’t strong enough. Aren’t smart enough. Aren’t worthy enough. Comparison is the thief of joy; and I love working with people to allow them to see themselves how Jesus sees them! So, as I was hearing these words, I thought it must be spiritual warfare. It must be lies.
I kept on wrestling with it all throughout the next few days, and it finally hit me. I am not enough. I will never be enough. I can work as hard as I possibly am able, can stress myself to the max, can cry and bleed and pour everything I have into a cause, and still never truly be enough. And that’s okay. Because we serve a God who is MORE THAN ENOUGH! I automatically thought of the story of David and Goliath. David was this tiny Shepard with no military experience. The armor he wore was too big and weighed him down because it was fit for a warrior, not a small Shepard boy. He was going to face a giant who no one thought he had any chance against. They were measuring his ability to win the fight based on his owns abilities, and they all laughed! Wouldn’t you?
Whether you are a perspective goer, a new goer, or someone who randomly clicked on my blog, you are bound to have an impending Goliath that looks rather daunting. If you measure your ability to win based on your own skills and abilities you will surely seem like the underdog, and you will probably lose. But we serve a God who controls the winds and the waves, who is stronger than any army and mightier than any Goliath we might face! We serve a God who heals the lame, casts out demons and makes the blind see! And that same God gave us power to do even mightier things through the Spirit in Jesus’ name!
Maybe you’re like I was at the very beginning of my support raising process and believe that you are capable of doing this; and maybe you are. But the fact of the matter is that Satan’s best trick is getting us to believe that “I’ve got this,” that this is our doing and that the burden is on us to succeed. But God is so much bigger than us. He is bigger than our skill set, bigger than our ability to convince people to give, bigger than our list of names of people we know. He is “able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think...” Ephesians 3:20.
So the point of this is, you’re right… you’re not enough. But our Almighty King is plenty good enough and far more abundant. If we were enough, what would be the need for God in anything?! If we were enough, he wouldn’t be glorified every time we succeed at something that seemed impossible! In our weakness He is made strong; and really isn’t that our purpose… to ultimately bring glory to God?!
If you are considering becoming a Goer and are scared to do it because of your inability to succeed, I encourage you to check your measuring stick. It is okay to be weak, because we serve a God who is not. It is okay to not be enough, but God is!
Jesus looked at them and said “For man it is impossible, but with God everything is possible” Matthew 19:26.