I’ve been struggling with what to share with you, if I’m being honest. Honesty can be scary. Life abroad can seem like an exotic, glamorous, never-ending adventure. And sometimes, it is. There’s always something new to try, a different place to explore, things to learn and experiences to be had. I’m so often in awe of God’s beauty around me, encouraged by the people I meet and intoxicated by the adventure I get to live. But that adventure is also accompanied by discouragement, frustration, grief, self-doubt and exhaustion. As I’m learning new dimensions of flexibility, learning to let go of expectations and remembering that my identity is found in Christ, alone, I’ve been holding tightly to these words from John 15:
I am the true vine and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away and every branch that does not bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. This things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. – John 15:1-11
One of my favorite Spoken Word poets has poem called Come Closer. Part of it goes a little something like this: “Come closer. Come closer. Come into this. Come closer... Walk through this with me.” I am so grateful that when I feel overwhelmed or discouraged, our patient and loving Father whispers those words in my ear. Again. And again. And again. “Come closer. Come closer. Come into this. Come closer... Walk through this with me.” “Abide. In. My. Love.”