Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
Matthew 8:23-26
One of the greatest parts of moving toward missions has been to see how the Lord has been growing me in my faith; but, it has also been one of the hardest parts as well. A few weeks ago I found out that due to changes in the UK, the Southall team I should be joining lost their visa sponsor. Initially finding out was a bit of a shock, but I thought to myself, "Well, God can do anything. He can fix this. He can bring another sponsor. No sweat."
A few days later I found out more of the details and it hit me: there is a very real possibility I won't be in London. Once the realization set in, the tears (and snot) just came pouring out...this is real talk here guys. I cried out in anger and frustration and fear, "Lord, You called me to London! You called me to follow, I took the leap of faith, and now you've dropped me! Why?"
.................
Did that just...? Did that come out of me?? Wow. Seriously, wow. As I think about how I reacted, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” really just sums it up quite well. I’m reminded of how fickle I can be and I am so thankful that God isn’t.
Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.
Psalm 36:5
When I prayed however many months ago that I wanted to have faith like Corrie ten Boom, I don’t think it ever occurred to me that in order for that to happen God was going to have to place me in situations where my faith would be stretched. Why I didn't consider that I have no idea. Although I don't think my faith has grown to the point where I’d pack a suitcase and fly to a foreign country without having an inkling as to what I was going to do when I got there, it's still really incredible to see how God has moved me from a place of fear to one of excitement and joy.
You faithfully answer our prayers with awesome deeds, O God our savior. You are the hope of everyone on earth, even those who sail on distant seas.
Psalm 65:5
I still have my fleshly moments but the Lord has shown me that being in this place of uncertainty is a blessing and part of the answer to my prayer. Instead of waiting in fear and anxiety, I am walking in faith, eagerly waiting in anticipation and excitement for what is to come! The Lord is doing amazing things and I’m thankful to be a part of it, wherever He takes me.
Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.
Colossians 2:7