Have you ever plunged into an icy river? you should try it at least once. During Goweek training, a few of us Goers had the chance to take what's called the "Polar Plunge", dunking ourselves under the chilly waters of one of Minnesota's rivers. Before embracing the invigorating and numbing H20, however, we had to make a decision quite similiar to the one that brought us to Goweek in the first place - we had to commit to go all in.
At the start of my senior year, I began applying for GoCorps and following a path God had been designing for the last four years. It's now May, I am a graduate, and by this time next week I'll be headlong into raising support for the next two years for my ministry overseas. It's exciting! I'm eager to build relationships, invest in others, invite others to invest in me, and experience Christ-centered love, dependence and community. Having fundraised before, I'm well aware of the need to rely on God, the growth that will happen, and the praise I'm sure to be singing when God's providence and love shines through.
Ironically, it's BECAUSE of that knowledge I'm nervous. I'm not scared the Lord won't provide; I think I finally got it through my head that I can trust God to put me wherever He wants me. No, I'm nervous because I won't be quite the same person at summer's end, and I know this will inevitably involve growing pains. I'm nervous for the unknown bumps and bruises, I'm scared of my weaknesses, and I'm scared of future failings,
However, God knows me perfectly, and during this week of training and fellowship, He has brought this doomsday thinking to light . As I sat with Him and poured out my sorrow for past sin and concerns for the future, His answer for me was "You are forgiven." No lingering over the issue - Christ has paid the price for sin and by grace I get to stand before God righteous. As for future sin, stumblings will be forgiven, but fearing my brokenness isn't God's plan. His perfect grace covers all failings, and He's conforming me more to the image of Christ in His perfect timing.
Also, I was reminded that our spiritual fathers - those whom the Bible points to as examples of righteoussness - failed plenty of times. God worked despite and through those weaknesses, and in the end He got the glory. That's the way He uses His people, and that's the way He'll use me. With a God who's in control like that, I'm ready to dive into anything - faroff ministries and freezing rivers included.