Before I left for Thailand, two years seemed like a long time. As a young 20-something, it’s hard to imagine committing two years of your life to anything. Still, many assured me two years wasn’t that long, which I agreed to, even if just intellectually.
My time in Thailand only affirmed my initial thoughts. At times, homesickness made the two years seem even longer. As time went on, time and distance made home seem increasingly further away, both in retrospect and in looking forward. It took all I had to be present there, made even more difficult by my future-mindedness. I even remember getting asked by a few people before I left, “So what’s after Thailand?” I thought they were crazy for asking such a question, yet I was asking myself the very same thing.
I’ve been Stateside for about a month and a half now. My transition’s been a great one, and fairly smooth at that, even in spite of the typical postgrad challenges. Maybe it’s unemployment that never seems to end or severe boredom because you can only travel and catch up with people so much before feeling like you’re beating a dead horse. Still, when I look back at my time in Thailand, I realize it went by insanely fast. I did come home five months early, but a year and a half is just a blip when compared to the rest of my life. Truth be told, those extra five months wouldn’t have made much of a difference; two years is nothing.
At the same time, those initial years right out of college are crucial to your development. You’re still figuring out who you are and what you want to do with your life. You may have several years of adulthood under your belt, but you certainly don’t have everything figured out. What you do and the people you surround yourself with will shape you, for better or worse.
During my time in Thailand, I got to live and work in a poor community. I got to see those we typically de-humanize and simplify to being “the poor” as actual human beings, not that different from the rest of us. I got to know parents doing whatever they can – making flower garlands, fried snacks, or other trinkets – to provide for their children and give them a better life. I got to see a young man, once shy and hardly involved in extracurriculars, grow into a role model for young boys at an age when many of their peers go down treacherous paths. I was challenged by the Gospel, convicted in my relationship with money and wealth, and made aware of my abundant privilege and responsibility to use it for those without. The past year and a half wrecked me in the best of ways and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It is only through deep sorrow, hardship, and difficulty that we grow. I’m reminded of John Shedd’s famous quote, “A ship is safe in harbor, but that is not what ships are built for.” Are you still in the safety of the harbor or are you willing to set sail?
At the end of it all, maybe it’s not about “the two years” at all. Maybe it’s just about going. If you’re feeling the call, even in the slightest, listen to it. Trust your heart, trust where God’s leading you, and trust the Holy Spirit to work in whatever you decide. Just take my word for it… going is well worth it.