In many ways, the month I find myself in is a significant one:
- It's a new year, so our calendars say "2016" instead of "2015".
- All of our staff have returned from the States, so our team is finally complete.
- My fellow interns and I have begun learning how to read and write in Thai.
- Five days ago, I hit the three-month mark, i.e., it's been over three months since I first moved to Bangkok.
- In less than three weeks I will be running my first half-marathon.
- That same day, I will break the record for the longest I've ever been abroad, which, I'm anticipating, will feel like an incredible achievement.
I've been doing lots of reflecting lately, thinking about how far I've come, the ways in which I have grown, and the ways in which I would like to grow from here on out. Today more than ever, I feel the most rooted, the most at peace, and the most joy I've felt since coming here. Some of it has come naturally as I've adjusted and gotten used to life in Bangkok. Some of it has come from my own intentionality in seeking those things. Most of it, however, has come from the grace of God.
It might be because of my roots in American culture, but I tend to be very future-minded, always looking forward to whatever is next. A common side effect of this is impatience, not wanting to wait for whatever is next but hoping things will speed along so I can get on with my life and move on to the next-best thing. This has been especially challenging here, where things have been so difficult at times that thinking about the future has become a sort of coping mechanism. However, I had an epiphany the other day that completely shattered this way of thinking: simply, all it was was gratitude for being given a new year.
Somewhat ironically and in spite of my tendencies mentioned above, one of my other biggest struggles since coming here has been dwelling in the past. Last year was amazing, full of memories and experiences I won't soon forget, but there's something special about a new year, beyond changing our calendars from December to January. This year it's allowed me to finally let go of the past - in a good way - and look forward to a brighter future. I fully believe that this year is going to be amazing, full of God moments and a-ha!'s and everything in between. To be sure, there will be challenges and lows, but as I continue to adjust, improve in my language capabilities, and increasingly get to know those in my community, there will be many new blessings and new moments I won't soon forget.
You're probably wondering about the title of this post and how it fits into all of this. "71" is one of the bus lines that gets us from home to the office and back; "red" is the color of the bus, which is significant because it means the bus is cheaper (only 6.50 baht versus 9) and it also takes a slight detour that causes us to get to work a little bit later. The red 71 really tests my patience sometimes. The orange 71 is always faster because it always skips the detour that prolongs our commute. As much as I'd like to only ever take the orange 71, sometimes the red 71 is the soonest or only one available at a given time. I think it's a good metaphor for where I'm at in life, but especially for where I'm at in this internship. Sometimes, things seem to be going way too slow. They don't seem efficient, they're unpleasant, and all I want to do is exit. It's in those times, however, that I need to endure. Stay in the moment. Stay intentional. There are invaluable things to be learned in those times, and if I'm not careful I could easily miss out on them. From here on out, I commit to staying in the moment, to staying intentional, and to staying teachable. I commit to being open to all things, even to a red 71.