Introspection and Perception
TL;DR
If I could distill my life into five verses it would be as follows:
- Matthew 6:33
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things (your needs) will be given to you as well.
- 1 Corinthians 16:14
Do everything in love.
- Ephesians 3:16-19
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you in power through his Spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
- Matthew 7:1
Do not judge or you to will be judged.
- Luke 12:48 (second half)
From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.
These verses put words to my life.
Overview & All
This past month has given clarity to many of my life experiences and insight into who I am. I have had the opportunity to talk with many people whom I respect, understand and am understood by.
Part of my identity is to have a clear simple ultimate value that I aim for, that I hold all my actions to. To put my goal in a sentence would be to say that in all things I seek a loving relationship of truth with God, others and myself. That's it. I want all I do to move me closer to this and if I perceive something moving me away from my goal I want nothing to do with it.
That being said there is still a weight on my heart. I know this truth and I express it because it is the best I have to offer. In being truth I feel it should be made known to all. My frustration comes from the fact that some people are ready to receive what I have to say and others are not. Some people will agree with me and we will rejoice in our understanding. Others will disagree and I will be in a position of needing to extend grace as I was and am extended grace by God and those more mature than me. I reflect on growing up in a family that knew God, his truth and love. When I was growing up I heard truth more than once, close to times innumerable. Even so I did not understand.
It wasn't till recently I started having a living relationship with God and I have grown in understanding. Now, however, I see more clearly the difference between knowing and not. I want all to know and have what is good, but I can't change people's minds. It'll drive me crazy, this powerlessness to communicate with clarity. How can I help people know the truth? The only answer I know is the one I experienced. When I was ready to receive that God was the only thing worth living for my eyes were opened to the reality of his working around me, I saw how his love was present in the lives of so many people I had grown up with. Sigh...
I return to my goal. I desire a loving relationship of truth with God, others and myself.
There is only so much I can control. I do desire these loving relationships of truth but I can only manage what I do. I will spend time investing in my relationships, loving those around me and speaking truth. As much as I would have everyone share my goals that is not for me to decide. Yet the pain of seeing others make poor choices still remains. That is the struggle I face. Extending grace? As the youngest of my family and being used to the company of those more mature than me it is difficult to be on the the end of extending grace rather than receiving.
Please feel encouraged to pray for me as well as reply with advice from your own life experience.