Trusting in God’s provision.
I realized the other day at my two week mark of living in Malawi, how much I have struggled to really trust in God’s provision. It was easy for me to begin trusting in his provision, but as soon as His timing was not my timing, I would start to stress out. And worrying is not trusting (be anxious for nothing).
This was a repeated pattern for me. I worried about funds coming, I worried about having a car to use while in the States, I worried about my Visa arriving in time, I worried about securing a plane ticket.
All of these things I had felt calm and confident in God’s provision, but then began panicking when it did not come as quickly or as easily as I had hoped.
Now I am in Malawi, and I began to worry about finding a car to buy now that the search is getting harder. It suddenly struck me that God may be trying to teach me something. Truly trusting in God is trusting in His timing and His methods. I need to work on truly abiding in Him throughout the whole process.
Sunday’s sermon was from John. It was the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. In the beginning of the text, after Jesus received a request asking Him to come because Lazarus was sick, John makes a point of saying that Jesus loved Lazarus and Mary and Martha. And yet, He waited. He waited till Lazarus was dead and rotting in the tomb before coming to them.
The pastor made this point. Just because Jesus waits, does not mean that he does not love you. You may wait and never receive the answer you want for a particular prayer, but still He loves you. We need to trust in His plans and His timeing.
Today I bought a car, and my team and the very nice man who sold it to me made sure that everything went perfectly smoothly. I am so foolish to worry.