"Sooner or later, often later, the fog slowly lifts. Things begin to make sense. Understanding replaces confusion. Confidence replaces doubt. Belonging replaces a sense of abandonment. Hope returns. God was there all along, working actively, not only on your behalf but in ways that enrich the many other servants he loves. The fog obscures his presence and his purposes, but when it finally clears, we realize that God has kept all his promises to us (see Josh 21:45). And on those occasions when his people go to the grave with pieces of their past still shrouded in fog, he remains the loving, faithful God worthy of their trust even though the fog never lifted. While not desired, walking in mystery shouldn't be feared; God, though not visible or audible, walks by our side, and the walk is always worthwhile for the patient, faithful servant (Pg. 185)."
-Cross-Cultural Servanthood by Duane Elmer
This short paragraph of my recent read has accurately described my thoughts and feelings over these past months of support raising. I kept telling people that I felt like I was walking through a dark room with my arms reaching out and searching for the light switch; like I was walking through a fog. I wasn't 100% sure if the Lord would provide. I consistently questioned, hesitated, and even doubted. Even though I would hear about how we serve a God who "owns the cattle on a thousand hills" I still didn't understand the greatness of our God.
However, as of November 3rd, I can finally say that I am fully supported and that the Lord has provided for all of my needs plus some!! It has been a crazy journey, but I'm thankful that I went through it and have learned to trust more in the Lord. It's just like that song says "Jesus, Jesus, How I trust Him. How I've proved Him o'er and o'er!"
Now it's December and I can't believe I only have 2ish months left in the U.S. Time has flown by, but at the same time I feel like it can't go by fast enough. These past few months, I've just been soaking everything in. My last Halloween, my last Thanksgiving, my last Christmas and New Years. It's all going to be so different next year, so this year I'm savoring the traditions, my family, good conversations, great food.
Although it was, at-first, an adjustment to know that I am leaving in January, I now see it as the time for God to prepare me more. I feel as though if I had left in September instead of January, I wouldn't have been as prepared/ready as I feel more now. It has also been so cool to read about other's that are already serving overseas and how they are adjusting to the culture. They have gone and are already experiencing the things that I am about to. So, it has been refreshing to already learn about the transition. Not only that, but the Lord has placed other missionaries who have come back from serving in my path! It has been great to hear about the culture and the transitions from their point-of-view as well.
There is also a lot of unknown ahead of me. I don't know exactly where I will live or go to school yet. I don't know any other Germans besides my one friend who lives there, and I don't know what it's like to live overseas. However, I'm so grateful that I can use this time to depend more on the Lord. I get to deepen my need for His guidance and wisdom as to how to navigate through a new world.
So, to wrap this year up, I thought I would end with: New Nur (Only New). Nur is the German word for only and of course you know, new means "new" in English. You see, I was asking the Lord for a word to describe the next year. (I had heard one of my favorite authors do this and the Lord would give her a word that would be the theme for every year, so I thought I would give it a try!) So, 2016 I believe will be "only new." As I transition from English into German and from America to Germany, everything will change. Ready, Set, Let's Go!