One time I saw a meme for Ramadan that read “Happy Hunger Games” featuring that heavily make up’d lady from the Hungar Games movies. It made me laugh, and seeing how my muslim friends were the ones passing it around, I imagine they got a good chuckle out of it too. In the grand scheme of things, however, the fasting month of Ramadan is pretty serious business for a lot of my muslim friends. They’re serious about their gifts, their seeking after God as they fast, and, of course, their fitaar, the meal they break their fast with everyday once the sun goes down!
Ramadan can be a difficult, joyous, exciting, and draining time for all parties involved, especially for the foreigner in a muslim country who has never experienced Ramadan before, in other words, myself exactly one year ago. In light of my trial by fire last year in the chaotic metropolis known as Cairo, Egypt, I’ve compiled a short survival guide (read: Thrivival Guide!) on how a foreigner survives and thrives during the month of Ramadan!
1) Switch the Sleep
Sure you could “survive” Ramadan fairly functionally with a normal early to rise, early to bed schedule like we have in the West. But, if you’re in the East and able to, adjusting your sleep schedule is a must if you really want to keep pace with the social aspect of Ramadan. I learned this the hard way after accepting an invite last year to break the fast with someone around 6:00pm. I mistakenly assumed we’d eat, sit for an hour or two, and then I’d be on my merry way by 8:00. My slumped figure on a studio floor as my new friends pumped Red Bull into my body at 2:00am proved I was mistaken. Spending time with others in Ramadan (especially other young, single friends) means you’re in it for the long haul of the night, prepare accordingly.
2) Ditch the Drink
Obviously, your muslim friends don’t expect you to fast during Ramadan, but they do expect you not to make it any more difficult for them than it has to be. Brandishing a cold and condensation covered Nalgeen water bottle in the oven that is the Cairo metro is a sure fire way to get on a lot of bad sides pretty quick. Show your muslim neighbor some love by stashing away the cold drinks during the day and eating your meals in the privacy of your home or the interior of any open restaurants.
3) Tell them ‘Tayyib’
Repeat after me: “Kool sinna, wa anta tayiib (anti tayibba for the ladies)”. Got it? Mastered it? Now go say it to everyone, literally everyone! It literally means every year, and you are good. Sure, Arabic speakers use it for just about every holiday, but it seems to pack some extra warmth during Ramadan. It's a great way to show some love, kindness, and cheer to the waiter, the stranger, the garbage man, and everyone in between!
4) Hone the Hospitality
Life is full of barriers and borders, mostly to be crossed and allow us to grow in the process of doing it. Odds are if you’re a foreigner in an arab country during Ramadan, you’re probably going to be invited for iftaar at some point. Why not challenge yourself and try to return the favor. Invite your friends who are fasting, have the food ready by the time the call to prayer goes off, and enjoy the chaos of trying to be a good host cross-culturally.
5) Find the Fitaar
Finally, if number four is still too big of a mountain for you to climb, you still must, must accept an invitation to break the fast with your friends if the opportunity presents itself. Breaking fast with your muslim friends can be a special thing, the closest analogy would be like experiencing someone else’s Christmas. It’s an honor to be invited to an iftaar meal, and its definitely an insightful experience not to be missed in terms of food, culture, and good friendship.
Life outside of your own borders and comfort zone is expectedly challenging, frustrating, and at times just discouraging. Ramadan can definitely, at times, heighten these tensions when you find yourself in the midst of a country wide celebration that pours out into the streets and you have little clue whats going on; however, when approached from the right angle and with a bit of curiosity these frustrations can give way to learning and experiencing a festive time with good friends and feeling just a little bit more at home as an out of place foreigner. Ramadan kariim.