One of the things I’ve learned since being in Germany is the need to get over myself. Here, I am not able to uphold a standard of perfection to which I tend to call myself, because it’s just not possible in another culture and in another language. I’ve become very use to the feeling of putting myself out there and falling flat on my face. (Now that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but it’s what it often feels like to me.) I regularly feel like I’m extremely awkward when I’m in a group of Germans. And not just my normal level of awkward, but my awkwardness times 10.
And when I was back in the USA this past month because of an opportunity to serve at a conference, I had the overwhelming feeling of, “MAN! This is easy!” I forgot how easy it is to operate in your own culture with your native language! To which God reminded me, He doesn’t call us to what’s easy, He calls us to follow Him.
I was once talking to a friend about always feeling awkward and she asked me if I was willing to look like a fool for Jesus? As I thought about it, I realized that I wasn’t, or at least it was really hard for me to. But once I accepted that sometimes I’m going to look like a fool, there’s been a great freeing in that.
*Photo: me and some German friends, when I’m not being the awkward one :)