Man oh man! The past several weeks have been so crazy I don’t even know where to begin; well actually I do, by proclaiming at the top of my lungs how great God is! Since I last wrote I have stopped working at Chipotle, spent some AMAZING time with family and friends, continued learning more and more about how to support raise, and have been having my mind blown by God’s faithfulness.
Let me back track a little bit… after quitting Chipotle I thought support raising would come a lot easier and with my time completely devoted to it, I would easily start making up ground from falling behind, this was not the case though. I had by God’s grace, been able to make it into the 30% range while being very nonchalant about support raising which gave a lot of false hope and if I’m being honest a bit of cockiness too. But once I started giving it my full effort nothing happened, I hit a wall. It felt like forever that I was stuck in the 30% range. I started getting frustrated and wondered what I was doing wrong. Had I become less passionate about what I was doing and people sensed that? Was I not clearly communicating what I was doing and what I needed? Why did it seem like once I listened to God everything became more difficult? I was reaching out to people who cared about me but they were not supporting me how I thought they would.
Alright pause! Look back at those last sentences and thoughts, how many times does it say “I” or “me”… bingo! There’s the issue! None of this is about me or what I do it is about God and His work and His call. Alright press play and continue:
So I decided to take a trip to a city about an hour away where I had made a contact through a friend. This contact was so excited for me and God’s work that she was willing to arrange a whole get together for me to share about God’s call on my life. Because I was feeling so defeated and honestly just wanted a break I took her up on this offer because it required little effort from me other than showing up and talking. On the drive out I listened to some music (Of Monsters and Men Pandora station, my current favorite) and talked to God. When I’m driving alone in my car is when God and I have some of our best conversations. It was then that I confessed to God how frustrated I was and told Him that, although I trust Him, I’m starting to get worried and anxious that the support isn’t going to come in time. It’s now that I look at this moment and my yelling fit while alone in the car that I picture God smiling and with a small chuckle saying, “Okay, let me prove my power and my love for you one more time.”
When I got to my contacts house, her and her husband immediately started ministering to my heart, not through words but through their actions and watching them live fully the lives God has called them too. Almost instantly my heart felt renewed and my attitude changed. (And although I would love to go into more detail about them and this night and the way God worked I will cut it short since I have already rambled for a while, but feel free to personally ask me about it.) Basically that whole night was just a time of fellowship and conversation about the goodness of God. I walked into the evening knowing no one but everyone listened intently as I shared about God’s calling and His work, I even opened up and was vulnerable about feeling like I had hit a wall, and sharing that it was hard to trust God because I was starting to get anxious. Then these 15 or so strangers gathered around me and laid hands on me and prayed, and they prayed with a mighty fervor. This is the point where everything started to turn around and I have seen God working in great ways since.
That night I had someone come on my support team and he changed the way I see support raising. He told me what a blessing it was for me to be there and how thankful he was. I didn’t understand the partnership aspect of support raising until he told me that it was an opportunity for him to step out in faith and trust God, something he had been having a hard time doing. By me being there and sharing about God’s call it gave him the opportunity to follow God’s call as well! I’m sure my writing about it doesn’t sound that exciting and I’m probably not articulating well exactly everything, but just trust me when I say that all of this has just been mind blowing.
That night I realized it’s not about me, it’s about God’s work, I’m just an instrument in it all. He works in great ways and it’s all about His glory, not mine. I just need to be faithful in proclaiming how He is working in my life and how He has called me, He does the rest. One final way He has proved this to me is through a very generous anonymous donation I received. I don’t know who I talked to or who overheard but God called them. The donation came with a note that said “God will continue to provide for you as you set about His work exactly as He sees fit for His glory. I am sure of that! Be Blessed!” And that could not be any truer, it is all about Him and His work and His glory.
“Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the Kingdom!” -Luke 12:32