Recently, I have been thinking of my conducting class in graduate school. It was two weeks of practicing every night to train my brain to cue choral and orchestral parts, listen to all the sounds at once, and show the meaning of the piece through my body. Talk about being exposed! I had to do all these things at the same time and try to show the powerful emotions in Faure’s Agnus Dei movement from his Requiem. For those of you not familiar with classical music here is a recording to give you an idea (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1FKoPO-S2w). It took concentration to follow my markings of “directing traffic” but to be vulnerable and allow the class to see how the movement affected me emotionally was scary.
I was reminded of this vulnerability last week when one of my best friends got engaged. I received the text at midnight and was so happy for her! I knew it was coming soon and was glad that it happened before I left for Germany. However, this brought forth fears that have been in my heart ever since I made the decision to go to Germany. Being an only child, my best friends are my siblings (or what I imagine the perfect sibling relationship to be like). I’m going to be gone for TWO YEARS. How many other important events am I going to miss out on? Why can’t I be there to help them during some of the most important time of their lives? Are friendships are already going to change while I am gone just because of distance, but how much will they change when marriage, babies, grad school, and moving come in to the picture?
In a gentle voice God reminds me He is first. He continues to gently unfold my hands from the firm grasp they hold onto friends. He even gives me an acronym my best friend told me about in college.
J.O.Y.- Jesus, Others, Yourself
Jesus is first in our lives, then others, and finally ourselves. I am constantly in need of this reminder and continue to pray that I will put him first in my life. While it’s hard to think about, there is a reason that God is placing me across the ocean during these times. I know I quoted this verse on my last post, but it has been a pivotal one in my life this past year. “And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:7 While I can’t see the reasoning for some things now I can have hope that His peace is all I need and it will protect me throughout.
I don’t want to end on a sad note so please share what are some verses that give you encouragement?