In the past 5 months of living in Turkey, the question I have been asked most is: “What are you doing in Turkey?” Ah, excellent question. Honestly, there have been many days when I ask myself the same thing. WHAT exactly am I doing here in Turkey? I have a few select responses: learning Turkish; I wanted to experience a new culture and heard Turkey was full of friendly, wonderful people; my husband is here coaching American football so I am here with him. See, my husband has a very specific and clear purpose here: American football coach. As I’ve mentioned previously, my purpose is a little less defined. So, whenever people ask me this question, which is at least once per day, I find myself answering, but then thinking to myself, “Is that enough of a reason? God, what am I doing here?”
Recently, conversations in my head between God and me have gone something like this:
Me: God, I have no purpose here!
God: My precious daughter, you are becoming the woman I want you to be. You are becoming a better wife.
Me (with my feminist heart crying out): I am NOT just a wife! I am my own person. I am independent and strong and brave and smart.
God: Yes, you are these things. And you are a wife. That is a special gift and special role.
Me: …silence…
What if what I’m doing here in Turkey is being a wife and supporting my husband? Yes, I am learning Turkish and helping at an English club and making some friends and encouraging those I meet, including other American workers, and praying for people and this country, but what if supporting my husband is actually enough? What if encouraging him to call some of the Turkish guys he’s met who love him, or go to a café with a football player who wants to hear about Jesus, or tell him what an athletic guy he is so, yes, he should look into teaching that class at the gym is a good reason to be here? What if learning how to cook more meals from scratch and doing that, along with dishes and laundry is ok? (My husband does help with this!) What if God, when He said that Adam would have a helpmate, actually had a plan in mind, and called me to be a wife therefore my husband’s helpmate? What if being a wife in and of itself is purposeful? Then, my answer to the question that I get asked daily can be answered with confidence and pride.
“What are you doing in Turkey?”
Me: I am supporting my husband whom I love and God has called me to be with. I am being the best wife I can possibly be and learning every moment how to be better at it. I am honoring God, who I love with all my heart, in the role he has called me to. I am growing in strength, bravery, intelligence and selflessness. I am praying. And I’m also learning Turkish and helping at an English club.