For twelve years of my life I trained as a martial artist. The studios I trained at were where I initially learned how to talk to God. When I would practice a form, or spar, my muscles would do most of the work for me. In that space, I was able to breathe, and focus on the Lord. After this season, I moved away for college where He taught me how to seek Him outside the confines of control present in a Taekwondo studio. He taught me how to seek without walls; to be bold.
Years after that time in my life, I am preparing to move overseas for two years. I leave this Friday, which I found out yesterday morning. All summer, I have been preparing for this. Support raising was long and difficult, yet our Father provides. He tells us that the worker does receive their wages, so I trusted, and sought Him continually. Towards the end, I was spending a lot of time alone waiting for people to email or call me back, so I decided to go take a few classes at the last Taekwondo studio I had trained at before I moved to college. It was a way to get out of the house and blow of steam. It worked quite well.
It seems that visiting that school served more than the purpose I intended. I had been lonely because most of my friends are back at college already, and I hadn't had anyone to spend time with for a few weeks. I had been praying for companionship, or someone to talk with in person while I waited for provision. I imagined when I asked for this that the answer would come in a connection with an old friend or something. Instead, as I started going to train again, I found a new place. When I stopped training, I did so in the midst of brokenness. I had seen a lot of corruption within the schools I had previously trained at, and I didn't have it in me at the time to try again at a new school. Earlier this month, I found that this school I had decided not to go to is indeed reigned by our Redeemer. Four years ago, I could've found that out, if I hadn't walked away. I see now, that returning to this studio has been the sweetest sendoff.
A lot of people have asked me what my favorite rank has been as a martial artist. The askers of this question generally believe that I will answer black belt. However, my usual response is white belt because that is a place of purity and teachability. Now, I say both are my favorite. It seems to me to be quite a beautiful thing to be simultaneously pure and seasoned. The quote in the picture above is about the transition between a colored belt rank and a black belt. It means that the wearer of that belt has, in some small way, arrived. It means that, while there is so much more to learn, the person is now qualified to teach from the toolbox they have built to this date. It means that they will continue to learn, while consciously deciding to think more of the people they are helping to lift up into knowledge beside them. It means that their maker has begun to add color to their once black and grey canvas, adding a richness unachievable beforehand. It means that the person has been transformed into a light to shine the way for people still waiting to be saved from darkness. This is how I feel in this journey.
I have never done this flying out across continents before. I've never chosen to live in another culture for longer than I've ever been away from home. I've never done this, yet in some ways I have. I've moved away, and learned how to be on my own in little ways during college. Now the door has been opened before me to take this next step in chasing after our Redeemer. Now I am going out to teach with only the faith I have been trusted with on my back. It feels as if I have grown into the wings I have so long sought after. My life isn't about what rank in martial arts I can achieve like it used to be. That has no bearing on how the people around me will spend eternity. This moving to another culture at the word of my beloved Father for the sake of His heart and His children does. This is exhilarating, and more adventure than I ever imagined for my life.
Please join me on this journey that the Lord has opened up for me. Open your hearts to the whisperings of a loving redeemer who draws us near to himself. I am blessed to be able to share this story with you all.