"Be Lifted Up, O Ancient Doors"
We have officially been in our beautiful new home for 2 weeks now. Every day is a nonstop learning experience, and it is easy to be overwhelmed with all the new, with all there is to learn. We are enrolled in language school about 20 hours a week, plus practicing language in our homestay and community. Language learning is an interesting experience--both extremely rewarding and frustrating. I feel like a child stumbling over their words. It is very humbling. But when meaning is communicated, I celebrate that small victory! Fortunately the people here are very kind and gracious, and they are... Read more
Dreaming of Answers
My wife and I have made it to our new city! So far it has been a good experience; the people are very friendly and welcoming. But at first I didn't think that was going to be the case. Right after we landed in our country we needed to find our hotel before our domestic flight the next day. It was 2:00am after we made it through immigration and customs, and we just wanted to sleep. We asked someone if they knew where the hotel was, and they had us pay for a cab. However, the cab driver simply drove a loop around the terminal of the airport and then dropped us of again. The hotel was one... Read more
The Power of Gratitude: Part 1
I love hiking. Something about being outdoors and witnessing the beauty of creation lifts my spirit. Yes, even if it’s in frigid cold of Midwest winter when my crazy friend visiting from Chicago says “Let’s go for a walk.” During those moments I’m the happiest. Very unlike the beginning of this month when in contrast I felt… well… kind of bitter. My funding deadline to leave in March was a only a few days away. It was pretty unlikely I’d be leaving based on our original plan. The overall frustration made every little irritation felt like someone adding one more brick on my shoulders when I... Read more
The Special Day
Ever since I was little, I always dreamt about what my wedding would look like. There were so many decisions I had to consider. Like, whether it was going to be big or small? Or which season would be perfect for it, summer, spring, or fall? Or the most important question, what colors are going to be in my wedding? Once I figured out those questions, I dive into more questions about the dress. What kind of dress would I like? Do I want a big dress like Cinderella or a smaller one to be more traditional? Do I want a long train or keep it simple? What kind of fabric should the dress be? Lace or... Read more
A word from Isaiah
Isaiah 64:1-9 Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down, that the mountains would tremble before you! 2 As when fire sets twigs ablaze and causes water to boil, come down to make your name known to your enemies and cause the nations to quake before you! 3 For when you did awesome things that we did not expect, you came down, and the mountains trembled before you. 4 Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him. 5 You come to the help of those who gladly do right... Read moreBeing Equipped (Part Two)
February 13, 2019 (Part Two) Sometimes I question “why me.” It seems like almost anyone would be better equipped to serve overseas. It hasn't helped that in the last year I have become aware of a new medical diagnosis and repressed trauma. I tell God how damaged I am and that I am hopeless and useless. That His and my time would be used better elsewhere. That I can just lay down and never get up and He can find a much more useful vessel for His love. Even my prayers make me hate myself. Sometimes they are so selfish I want to take them back and just tell Him that it’s going to be a loss... Read moreBeing Equipped (Part One)
February 13, 2019 In years past most of my prayers consisted of “Lord lead me” and “please give me wisdom” spread out every couples of months. This year it seems like every several months have had a more intense theme of alternating “Lord open my eyes” and “I literally can’t go on.” The more I saw, the less I could get out of bed without relying on the Word of God and a constant conversation about my current battle. The hopelessness of not having any answers to the problems I saw afflicting those closest to me kept me going back to Jesus for the will to go on. It seemed like the more I... Read moreLearning True Reliance
February 13, 2019 When I first applied to be a goer it was over a year ago in September, and when I started taking it seriously it was almost exactly a year ago. I remember in past years seeing people’s “year end summaries” saying how much they had grown in the previous year. Most years, especially in college, I definitely would have said the same. But 2018 was a larger change than I ever would have asked for sincerely. It wouldn’t have helped if someone had told me how hard it would be, but looking back I am so thankful that it was too difficult to do alone. The people I’ve met, and... Read moreI Prayed that God would Shut the Door (June 2, 2018)
June 2, 2018 I prayed that God would shut the door. On day two of training (May 28, 2018) one of the leaders referred to the goers (me included) as missionaries. Instantly my entire body rejected this new piece of information as false and I zoned out for the rest of the session. I’m not a missionary, I’m not qualified, I’m barely trained and more importantly I don’t deserve the title. Missionaries are in their late 30’s, in the jungles, transcribing Bibles while mosquitoes feed the next generation with their blood. That’s not me, I’m on my way to Croatian (now Bulgaria) to hang out with... Read more