Welcome to Part Twelve of our Goer Essentials Series, where we’ve asked Goers to sound off on the essentials to thriving in life overseas. In today’s article, Goers share their tips for communicating with friends and family back home.  

Goer Essentials:  Essentials to Thriving in Life Overseas

For this Goer Essential series, we surveyed Goers who are serving two-year global placements.  These articles are your chance to hear directly from Goers as they share their triumphs, best practices, amusing gaffes, and deep experiences of learning to live, thrive and make an impact while immersed in a new culture!

Part 12: Staying Connected

The advancement of technology has significantly changed the way the church can spread its message globally. One of the most notable advancements is air travel, which allows people to reach almost any part of the world within a day. In the early days of the church, it could take just as long to travel to the next town.

Another significant change is the device you’re reading this on.  Whether it’s a laptop or phone, the device you’re holding allows you to communicate with someone on the other side of the world instantly.  But when you change your global zip code, it’s usually not as simple as picking up your phone and making a call.  So we asked Goers to share with us some of their tips to stay connected with people back home.  

Where to Start in an App Store

There are plenty of apps and tools to help you communicate.  Some are designed for efficiency or security and some are designed to be fun and inspire a more human connection.   

“I use Signal for texting and daily communication, which works pretty well internet-wise as well as being secure. Other social media platforms haven't really worked due to the restrictions in the country. I have also been able to zoom with family and friends which has been really nice, but its uses are limited because it uses a lot of data. Email always works but feels very formal.” -Allison, North Africa

“One way that's helped me is Marco Polo; I only use this app with one friend, but it's honestly been so life-giving to exchange quick videos of what's going on in life, and since we can watch the videos at any time, time zones aren't a problem! I also really enjoy sending voice messages on WhatsApp - you can record for a really long time (I've talked for a full 9 minutes before haha) and it's sweet to hear your loved one's voice. Sending voice messages also feels more doable for me because I can easily and quickly voice how things are going while walking somewhere.” -Mariana, Bulgaria 

“It’s been a bit of a balancing act for sure! I’m currently engaged and my fiancé and I have weekly FaceTime dates and will text sporadically throughout the week. I also will call my parents about once a week.” -Taylor, Mexico

You may have noticed that we got three answers and at least six different apps and platforms.  Treat these as suggestions but go with what will work best for you and your family while also taking into consideration the security guidelines of your team.  

What About the Time Difference?

Goers have served in over 50 countries.  Sometimes they’re in South America and the timezone isn’t too different from their home in North America.  Other times they’re on the other side of an ocean and are just getting up to start their day when their friends and family are winding down for the day.  But whether the time zone changes or not, the fact is you’re faced with a new schedule and rhythm to life that may not match what you’re used to.  Here are some of their tips for dealing with that. 

“Trying to schedule a time to talk with people has been really difficult with the time zone change and my spontaneous schedule, so that's why I highly recommend and prefer communication that I can send and view on my own time while still getting the personal feel through voice or video messages.” -Mariana, Bulgaria

“I would suggest being flexible on dates and times of calls to allow yourself to get to know your new context and create your own rhythm rather than sticking to your one back home.” -Taylor, Mexico

“With my friends, every time we call we like to put in the calendar the next time we're calling.” -McKenna, Central Asia

It Won’t be the Same

It’s important to keep in mind that there isn’t one right way to keep in touch.  And what works for some of your friends and family may not work for others.  We also won’t pretend that it’s easy.  As someone who has lived abroad myself, I can attest that sometimes it’s messy and you may not keep in touch with everyone you plan to before boarding that plane.  There will be times when you need to hear a familiar voice and reminisce on old stories.  There will also be times when you need to put the phone down and just be where you are.  

“It's totally normal to feel that your friendships back home are changing, and it's because they are. Especially for those coming straight out of college, it's a big transition to go from spending every second with your people to now maintaining relationships virtually. My advice would be to first acknowledge that the relationship has shifted, and with that be intentional about reaching out.” -McKenna, Central Asia

It's totally normal to feel that your friendships back home are changing, and it's because they are.

“The first step for me in approaching staying in touch has been just the acknowledgment that relationships will look different in this season, and that's okay. God has me and my friends where we are for a reason, and I think practicing presence with where we are is important. With that in mind, I have been super thankful for friends who know me, love me, and want to keep sharing life in a new way.” -Mariana, Bulgaria

“It's also important to balance the time you spend calling home with the time you spend investing in people in your new context. It will be different for everyone, but be careful that you don't miss out on what's right in front of you because you are frequently calling home.” -McKenna, Central Asia

Conclusion

A big part of any major life change is managing expectations.  It’s great to start with a plan for staying in touch.  But remember to give yourself grace and time to settle in.  There’s no one-size-fits-all solution.  What works for some Goers may not work for you and vice versa.  Before you fly across an ocean, talk with your team leaders about what works in the location you’re going to.  

Key Takeaways

• Have a discussion with your team leader about best practices for keeping in touch

• Recognize that things won't be the same and that's okay

• Remember to also be present in your new home and build new connections there

Dive Deeper

• Long Distance - Faith, Middle East

• My Letter to Future Goers - Anni, Austria

• Surrender - Hope, Middle East

Check out other blogs in this series here.