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Decision Making Tips and Tricks: Part 2

Posted on Monday, January 29, 2024
By
Melody

What exactly is discernment? How can it be helpful for decision-making? If you haven’t yet read the first blog in this series, make sure to read that one first! It introduces some important concepts for discerning and gives a helpful step-by-step overview for one of the two methods of discerning. This blog discusses the second method.

You may find that one of these methods works better for you and that you only want to do one, or you may find that you want to use both methods in your discernment process. The first method leans slightly more on the intellect. There is a lot of rational thinking, which starts and ends with prayer, to help you make your decision. This second method relies more on prayerful imagination. While this method is no less rational, it does tap more into creative thinking. 

Remember, it’s usually a good idea to designate a period of time for your discernment process. Usually, about a week is a good length of time during which you can intentionally discern. Now, let’s get into the steps of this second method! 

Step 1: Check your focus and motivations for the choice you have in front of you. Seek openness for either option.

Just like St. Ignatius’ first method of discernment, it is very important to start with a foundation of indifference (or openness) to any outcome. It is also important to evaluate your motivations for your options. Your ultimate goal should always be to seek the option that will allow you to know, love, and serve God best. Take some time to pray as you begin this process.

Step 2: Imagine someone you don’t know very well comes up to you and asks for your advice on making a decision similar to the one you are making. What advice would you give that person?

Here’s your first chance to engage your imagination! If a classmate you’ve only seen in passing happened to come up to you and ask your perspective, what would you say? Often, it is easier to give advice than to take it, so imagine the advice you would give and then consider how what you just said applies to your situation and discernment process. You could simply close your eyes and imagine, you could write down an imagined interaction like a story, or you could even recruit a friend and role-play things!

Step 3: Imagine that you are 99 years old and looking back over your long and amazing life with clarity and hindsight. Thinking about your present decision, what option does your 99-year-old self wish that you had made?

This is my favorite of all of St. Ignatius’ steps of discernment! I often think about my life in the long term and imagine the “little old lady” version of myself, sitting on my front porch and thinking about my life. How would that little old lady feel about option 1? What about option 2? What does the 99-year-old version of yourself have to say about his decision? Do you have an inclination about what you hope to have done by the time you are 99 years old?

Step 4: Imagine that at the end of your life, you are sitting with Christ explaining the decision you are now discerning. What course of action gives you peace and joy as you explain it to your loving savior, Jesus Christ?

Remember, Jesus loves you and is not here to criticize your choice. It may help to think about Jesus as a loving parent or best friend for this scenario. As you explain to Christ your decision, pay attention to your feelings towards each possibility. You may also want to spend some time in silence before the Lord, allowing yourself to be aware of the Lord’s loving presence. Write down your reflections.

Step 5: With all of these imaginative exercises complete, choose the decision which feels right. Bring this choice to God and ask God to confirm this choice in you.

As before, by the time you get to the final step, you may be absolutely confident in your choice. Awesome! If not, sit with that decision for several days, maybe even repeating parts of the first or second method of discernment. Notice your thoughts, words, and feelings surrounding the choice, and talk about your decision with trusted loved ones. Then, trust the decision that God has helped you to make through this process of discernment.

In summary, discernment can seem hard and scary, but it doesn’t have to be. St. Ignatius provides many different ways to think through the choice you are making, but in the end, it’s also important to trust God and to trust the ability that God has given you to make this choice. Most of the time, there is not one magic answer. Many times, when we engage in a discernment process, we do so because all of the options are good and all would lead to you knowing, loving, and serving God more.

If you are still struggling with this process or your decision, feel free to reach out to a GoCorps Mission Coach here. Our Coaches are trained to help you process and are happy to listen to you as you work out what God may be saying. They also have tons of experience and knowledge they would love to share with you about times they have discerned important life decisions. Thankfully, there is one truth we can always count on: God will always love you and always be with you.

Melody

Melody is a GoCorps alum who lived in Berlin, Germany for two years doing arts ministry and then was a GoCorps Coach and Mobilizer for four years. Melody is now a seminary student at Virginia Theological Seminary and is studying Christian Formation for all ages. Melody lives in northern Virginia with her husband and giant fluffy dog and loves to read, dance, and drink chai lattes!

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